As much as I try, is always the same.
I'm not a coward, I have courage to live and adapt to change, I have experienced many difficult times ... but maybe that's in the past and am no longer the same.
Two small traffic accident nine months have left me at home, nothing serious, whiplash, and the second, seven days after a cervical correction. Not even know if it's the same, but the truth is that they have been horrible months. That's enough to live day to day Chronic Fatigue Syndrome with chemical sensitivity, find the strength to hope, to forget what the reality, to daydream, think bad happens in my life is not real, everything is normal, fantastic perfect ... but any incident, but a slab and the weight becomes unbearable.
Rehabilitation, more pain, dizziness, rashes, crisis ... a whole summer without seeing the ocean, unable to breathe the air that gives me life and feeling the breeze on my face.
The winter brought more pain, more discouraged, and the horrible feeling that would no longer be as before, was like being down two steps.
My mood has been crumbling. There is no longer good day, or "hours" good. There is no time to think "I am almost well," although after symptoms appear again.
hate these diseases!
hate all the "government, health, legal!
How can they sleep easy knowing that destroy individuals, families ? Anyone wanting to report on the life of a sick or ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Chemical Sensitivity added, know it is a daily torture.
How can there people so evil? Is it about money? I have it almost clear all work ! if they die better, a pension less, and more now that public spending soars but what happened 4 years ago? had to save. No matter the reasons, the fact is that we destroy the soul, the body and is responsible for disease.
I could not be more at home, my refuge had become my prison. He was irritable, aggressive and hated my body, my disability.
for 8 months had left the few relationships that I had: lunch with my family on Sundays and alternate Saturdays and receive a home visit once a week. And could not speak on the phone. They spent their days filled with tears and sorrow standing.
I have nothing. Illusions to grab me hard, but then fade away. Such relaxation positive, many self-help books, such therapy ... just need to feel good, have a normal life!
A week ago I decided to apply for discharge. He could not go past the days at home crying in secret, hoping to be left alone, night ....
was happy again take to the streets, fix, paint why I would well! Returning from work I would have to lie, but the jersey and pants that I remove, remain in the chair a week, the bag, the clothes he had laid, would also continue for days in the same place, but at least I would take my head in the morning, the afternoon would be so exhausted I could not even mourn.
Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and arrives late .... From Friday in bed, I wake up Sunday and it seems that went to work yesterday, only much more tired.
I have no life, no one can tell me adapt, nobody telling me you have to be positive . All around me begins to break and this is due to my health.
How can you be positive when you have to give the basics, so vital? Personal hygiene, preparing a meal, talk to family, friends .... Spend weeks and I can not go to see my niece a two-year angel when I see makes me laugh, hug, play with it .... But even that leaves me breathless.
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