I had the bad luck that a guy with whom he was going to taxi, I was mistreated, ie, insulted me, threatened me and hit me. I am surprised by the things I've heard from my account of it, such as "You should not drink on an equal footing with men, because men are disoriented and, as a woman, you have to do is stop them", or " you have a very aggressive feminist, why these things happen to you "or" does not report it because it is as much "or" you have something that brings out the twisted twisted me "or" because you pressed me, me did you get that backlash. "
And now at last this week decanting the horrendous episode is over, I answer every one of those things and refer others think also.
First, I refuse to believe that when a person assaults another, there is some logical reason for it. It was not my speech, not what or how much you drink cart with a man and I do not think you have to act as the mother of each subject that I know and always keep a certain control position so he would not be disbanded (will not be assumes that all human beings develop self-control and we take responsibility for what we do, regardless of gender or sexual identity that we possess? Let me apologize for those who see it otherwise. But I flatly refuse to accept as anything but a response "Yes, be responsible and self-control is what we all have to do ").
The issue is this: a violent man is a violent man, no matter what you say or what you do, or what you think, this violent man will always find the way to attack you and make you feel that you are responsible for it, despite that, in good Chilean aggression is his story. It amazes me how people unconsciously empathize with that position, which says in part, I am responsible for having had a penknife in the neck or offend me in ways I do not want to bring up now (in fact, the idea is to forget) . Thousands of times I reel with other men, thousands of times, I have spoken the same things ... why are supposed to have to assume some responsibility for the violent behavior of another, when there is no reason for it?
A decent man, a good man (which I also know these and many), not responding to pressure, if there was such pressure, with insults, but is explained or, finally, leaves the place where you feel uncomfortable rather than punish another for what is bothering you. And that's the point. I refuse to believe in any way that a person who is being abused physically and / or psychologically (read: male or female) should think that has to change aspects of his personality, his speech, his way of being to life. No, no way. What you need do is to root out the violent relationship with someone so it does not consume you in a spiral dysfunctional. And if you're violent, there other things you have to change, beginning with taking responsibility and walk straight into a good therapy. The rest do not have to pay what you put inside you wrong. And not the other, is not out why. You who wants to hit, insult, abuse and look for any opportunity to do so stupid.
If, as a society, we perpetuate the idea that "when you are stuck for a reason", we justify the position of the aggressor, we are sitting comfortably, watching passes over the rights of children people with different sexual identities, ethnic groups, women, and why not, men are also victims of women who minimized, abuse and assault. And I absolutely refuse to be validated violence, to those who suffer every day are put into question, instead of being supported and welcomed, understood the tremendous pain they suffer. Basta. Let's see the speck in your neighbor's eye, rather than see the beam in our own. As a society and, often, as people, we are unable to contain and support the sufferer. And here I go again: I refuse, I refuse to accept these situations and adapt to them as if they were right. And not only refuse me, I am outraged and I rebel with the only weapon that I can wield: words.
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